Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.
  • My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.
  • I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.
  • Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”
  • Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.
  • Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.