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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Making waves on Slack:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Just landed via Messenger:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Going viral on TikTok:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Just shared via Messenger:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Making waves on Slack:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Going bananas on X:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

4 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about the struggle of carrying groceries, capturing playful frustration.

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Commentary:
"Who needs multiple trips when you can have one epic balancing act! 🛒💃 #LifeIsAnAdventure"

activity, am, carrying, fall, humor, i, over, person, second, shopping, time, walk

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74 shares on Threads this month:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

12 shares on Threads this month:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Spotted on Reddit:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Just shared via Telegram:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Making waves on WeChat:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Trending via Pinterest:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨