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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Trending via Reddit:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Trending via Instagram:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Shared recently on Slack:

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about the struggle of carrying groceries, capturing playful frustration.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs multiple trips when you can have one epic balancing act! 🛒💃 #LifeIsAnAdventure"

activity, am, carrying, fall, humor, i, over, person, second, shopping, time, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

2 weeks ago

aspiration, career, day, garbage, garbage man, humor, i, job, man, only, want, week, work
Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

1 week ago

focus, home, humor, inside, introvert, job, quarantine, quitting, staying, staying inside, work, work from home
Easy there, unsaved number.

7 days ago

casual, casual conversation, communication, conversation, easy, humor, number, phone, texting, unsaved, unsaved number
Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

3 weeks ago

celine, Celine Dion, dion, fact, farm, fun, fun fact, humor, lyrics, mcdonald, name, old, Old McDonald, vowels
If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

3 weeks ago

activity, humor, outdoor, outdoor activity, protection, rain, sun, sun protection, sunscreen, weather
My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

2 weeks ago

demon, demons, ex, exorcist, humor, joke, relationship, should

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Twitch this month:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Going viral on WeChat:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Seen just now on Threads:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Going viral on Messenger:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Easy there, unsaved number.

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨