Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,864

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Breaking via Slack:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Just landed via Telegram:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Making waves on Slack:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Just shared via Telegram:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Spotted on Slack:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Going viral on Reddit:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Trending via TikTok:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Making waves on Instagram:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs multiple trips when you can have one epic balancing act! 🛒💃 #LifeIsAnAdventure"

activity, am, carrying, fall, humor, i, over, person, second, shopping, time, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

0

2 months ago

fleetwood, Fleetwood Mac, humor, i, irony, just, love, mac, music, rain, thunder, true
Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

0

2 months ago

after, cat, days, easy, humor, pet, relationship, training, wants
The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

0

2 months ago

25, age, anything, confusion, expectations, finish, i, job, life, marriage, married, plan, school, simple, understand
I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

0

4 months ago

around, clothing, cozy, cozy clothing, dryer, fresh, fun, funny habit, game, guess, guessing, guessing game, habit, humor, i, laundromat, laundry, love, plus, putting, underwear, warm, warm underwear
Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

0

5 months ago

asking, cigarette, humor, joke, own, pack, smoking, stealing
I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

0

1 month ago

age, age contrast, aging, back, citizen, contrast, heart, humor, kid, knees, self-deprecating, senior, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Going viral on WeChat:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Making waves on Reddit:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Shared recently on Instagram:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Just landed via Telegram:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨