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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2017 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,179

Funny Quotes Topics

14,934

Funny Quotes Images

12,179

4 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Breaking via Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Shared recently on Slack:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Shared recently on WeChat:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Trending via Reddit:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Making waves on Threads:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

6 months ago

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the true sign of adulthood: strategically placed Ibuprofen stashes for any unexpected 'adulting' moments 😂💊 Because apparently, being prepared for headaches is the modern-day version of being responsible. Cheers to all the adults out there with their hidden pain relief treasure troves! 🙌"

adult, humor, ibuprofen, life, life skills, medicine, organization, pain, pain relief, person, place, relief, skills

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2017 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,179

Funny Quotes Topics

14,934

Funny Quotes Images

12,179

4 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Spotted on TikTok:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Making waves on Slack:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Just shared via Pinterest:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Spotted on Instagram:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

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