Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,746

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Live now on YouTube:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Broadcasted on Discord:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Trending via Instagram:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

2 months ago

0

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Anxiety: the gift that keeps on giving…and taking 😅💳 Imagine racking up points every time you overthink – redeemable for extra worrying or free panic attacks! Who needs a points card when you've got anxiety on your side? 🏆✨"

anxiety, health, humor, loyalty, mental, mental health, program, rewards, should, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

0

2 months ago

apocalyptic, collapse, fall, humor, irony, love, relationship, romance, romantic, society
Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

0

1 month ago

bad, bad relationship, dating, Facebook, Facebook memory, humor, i, life, love, love life, majority, me, memory, men, regret, relationship, taste, thank
I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

0

1 month ago

aggression, anger, annoyance, day, discomfort, hope, humor, i, just, mad, passive, passive aggression, shoe, slide, sock, socks
Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

0

2 months ago

advertising, family, friends, humor, irony, pressure, pyramid, pyramid scheme, scheme, social, social pressure, thing, worst, worst thing
There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

0

2 months ago

Canadian, certainty, cold, death, humor, life, ta, weather
Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

0

1 month ago

confusion, ever, Friday, history, humor, irony, misday, mistaken, Monday, Thursday, today, Wednesday, weekday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

18 shares on X this month:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am thick and tired.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

50 shades of single.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Trending via Twitch:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Spotted on YouTube:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Spotted on Slack:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Just shared via Telegram:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Shared recently on Slack:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Just shared via Discord:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Going bananas on Threads:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

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