Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Just landed via Slack:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Seen just now on Threads:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Trending via YouTube:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Shared recently on Threads:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Live now on Snapchat:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about anxiety deserving a loyalty rewards program, humorous and playful text.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Anxiety: the gift that keeps on giving…and taking 😅💳 Imagine racking up points every time you overthink – redeemable for extra worrying or free panic attacks! Who needs a points card when you've got anxiety on your side? 🏆✨"

anxiety, health, humor, loyalty, mental, mental health, program, rewards, should, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on WeChat this month:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

34 shares on X this month:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

78 shares on X this month:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Aura is the real business card.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Making waves on Instagram:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Trending via Facebook:

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴