Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

762 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,924

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,924

37 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Shared recently on X:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Live now on Facebook:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Trending via Snapchat:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Live now on Reddit:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Seen just now on Slack:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Reported on TikTok:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

6 months ago

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Is it just me, or is cancer really pulling ahead in the zodiac race? ♋️🏁 Who knew an astrological sign could be such a tough competitor in the mortality department! Watch out, Capricorns and Geminis, Cancer is on a roll! 😉🦀

astrological, astrological sign, cancer, death, else, health, humor, irony, people, sign, think, weird, zodiac

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

762 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,924

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,924

37 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Just shared via WeChat:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Trending via Pinterest:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Trending via Pinterest:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Just landed via Discord:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Shared recently on Slack:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Going viral on Threads:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

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