Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.
  • Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?
  • Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.
  • Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.
  • When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.
  • Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.