Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?
  • The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.
  • Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.
  • I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.
  • I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”
  • I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.