Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

25 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Just shared via Discord:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Just landed via Slack:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Just landed via Instagram:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Going viral on Discord:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Going viral on Threads:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

6 months ago

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah yes, the wonderful stages of aging: Sleepy in the morning, Grumpy during rush hour, Dopey at work meetings, Sneezy during allergy season, Bashful at social gatherings, Happy when the grandkids visit, and let's not forget Doc scheduling all those doctor appointments! 🛏️😠🤪🤧😳😄👨‍⚕️🤣

age, comedy, dwarf, humor, life, life stages, older, personality, self-reflection, stages, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

25 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Breaking via TikTok:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Just landed via Reddit:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Live now on Instagram:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Making waves on Messenger:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Live now on TikTok:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴