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Commentary:
Ah yes, the wonderful stages of aging: Sleepy in the morning, Grumpy during rush hour, Dopey at work meetings, Sneezy during allergy season, Bashful at social gatherings, Happy when the grandkids visit, and let's not forget Doc scheduling all those doctor appointments! 🛏️😠🤪🤧😳😄👨‍⚕️🤣

age, comedy, dwarf, humor, life, life stages, older, personality, self-reflection, stages, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

5 months ago

analogy, closer, end, faster, humor, life, paper, roll, time, toilet, toilet paper
Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

1 month ago

bag, cheese, comfort, comfort food, eat, eating, food, humor, indulgence, just, need, shredded, shredded cheese, snack, sometimes, straight
And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

1 month ago

back, brain, ear, humor, lie, only, pea, people, side, sleep
Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

4 months ago

awkward, communication, doing, humor, imagine, me, misunderstanding, relationship, sex, wrong
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

1 month ago

body, breathing, curiosity, dead, dead body, entertainment, film, funny observation, humor, movie, observation
How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

2 months ago

authority, boss, even, guy, humor, i, just, know, skepticism, trust, word, workplace

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

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Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Going viral on YouTube:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Just shared via Reddit:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Spotted on Instagram:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Live now on Facebook:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Spotted on YouTube:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Seen just now on Discord:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

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As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

I love my bed so much, what a place.

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

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As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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