Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Making waves on YouTube:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Just shared via Messenger:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Live now on Facebook:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Witty text about handling asbestos with a humorous twist on effort.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
“Trying to tackle asbestos like 😅💪 – You’ve got this! Just remember, even superheroes wear protective gear when dealing with that stuff!”

, , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

47 shares on Threads this month:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

81 shares on Threads this month:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,764

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Just landed via Twitch:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Trending via Telegram:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Just landed via Pinterest:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Live now on TikTok:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Just landed via TikTok:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴