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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2311 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,473

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,473

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Making waves on Snapchat:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Just landed via Messenger:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Spotted on Reddit:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Shared recently on Slack:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Making waves on Threads:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
“Trying to tackle asbestos like 😅💪 – You’ve got this! Just remember, even superheroes wear protective gear when dealing with that stuff!”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2311 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,473

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,473

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Just shared via TikTok:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Making waves on X:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Trending via Reddit:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Seen just now on X:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Just shared via Reddit:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Just landed via X:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

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