Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi. 🥧📞 Good luck finding a person before you finish reciting pi to the 100th decimal place! 😂"

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

0

2 months ago

call, communication, ever, humor, i, joke, just, marital, marital joke, marriage, only, person, phone, relationship, trying, wife
The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

0

2 months ago

biome, bog-emerge, concept, doing, drive by, exist, humor, joke, people, rap, satire, swamp
There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

0

5 months ago

humor, people, physiology, reason, rude, rudeness, simply, sneeze, weakness, yell
If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

0

4 months ago

bad, dating, feel, feeling, feeling bad, humor, just, love, relationship, self-esteem, single, start, want, yourself
Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

0

2 months ago

break, die, humor, jealousy, just, phone, rest, technology
Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

0

2 months ago

better, bicycle, buy, car, cry, crying, happiness, humor, irony, materialism, money, sports, sports car, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

17 shares on Slack this month:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

96 shares on Discord this month:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Trending via Facebook:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Going bananas on Threads:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Spotted on YouTube:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Going bananas on X:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Spotted on X:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨