Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.