Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,753

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Making waves on TikTok:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Going viral on WeChat:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Spotted on Telegram:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a phone bill when you have carrier pigeons? 🐦📞 Dodging bill collectors like a pro! 😂💸 #FinancialHacks"

advice, avoid, avoid calls, bill, bill collector, calls, collector, funny advice, humor, phone, phone bill

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

0

3 months ago

alien, before, Earth, grocery, grocery store, humor, joke, need, newcomer, people, shopping, store
Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

0

2 months ago

bad, head, humor, normal, people, tap, tested, testing, watermelon
Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

0

2 months ago

charcuterie, confusion, having, humor, language, pronounce, pronunciation, stroke, trying, words
Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

0

2 months ago

boo, childish, fun, having, kid, parenthood, playtime, slime, turn
I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

0

1 month ago

frustration, hate, here, i, open, opening, package, person, sealed, tear, tear here, try, using
Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

0

2 months ago

comedy, frustration, guys, health, humor, i, media, mental, mental health, mess, nothing, posts, problems, psychology, read, social, social media, therapist, want, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Facebook this month:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

21 shares on Telegram this month:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Making waves on Slack:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Just shared via WeChat:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Live now on Facebook:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Trending via Snapchat:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Live now on Threads:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨