Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Just shared via Slack:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Spotted on Twitch:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Trending via TikTok:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Making waves on Twitch:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Going viral on Instagram:

Is this art or trash?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Spotted on TikTok:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Trending via Snapchat:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Just shared via YouTube:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Clever and humorous text about dodging phone calls from bill collectors.

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Commentary:
"Who needs a phone bill when you have carrier pigeons? 🐦📞 Dodging bill collectors like a pro! 😂💸 #FinancialHacks"

advice, avoid, avoid calls, bill, bill collector, calls, collector, funny advice, humor, phone, phone bill

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Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Instagram this month:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

88 shares on X this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

80 shares on X this month:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Just shared via Pinterest:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Making waves on Twitch:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Making waves on Facebook:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Seen just now on Slack:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Spotted on Slack:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Keep the laugh going 😂

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨