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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Going viral on Discord:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Spotted on Threads:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Spotted on YouTube:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Just shared via Discord:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well 🍌🍭… so apparently candy companies have been living double lives as fruit connoisseurs, huh? 😂 Who knew they had such a keen sense of taste buds when it comes to bananas! Talk about a sweet deception! 🍬🍌🤥

banana, candy, company, eye, food, honesty, humor, know, lie, perception, straight, taste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

24 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Making waves on Messenger:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Just landed via Messenger:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Trending via Discord:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Shared recently on Discord:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Seen just now on Discord:

People text you when you look good in photos.

Going viral on Pinterest:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Trending via Facebook:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Trending via Slack:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Trending via Threads:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

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