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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Trending via Reddit:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Shared recently on Threads:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Going viral on TikTok:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

3 weeks ago

Witty text highlighting candy companies' playful deception about banana flavoring.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well 🍌🍭… so apparently candy companies have been living double lives as fruit connoisseurs, huh? 😂 Who knew they had such a keen sense of taste buds when it comes to bananas! Talk about a sweet deception! 🍬🍌🤥

banana, candy, company, eye, food, honesty, humor, know, lie, perception, straight, taste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

97 shares on YouTube this month:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Spotted on Reddit:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Shared recently on Threads:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Making waves on Discord:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Spotted on X:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Trending via X:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Making waves on Messenger:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Just landed via TikTok:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

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