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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Just landed via Messenger:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Shared recently on Discord:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🦁🎬 "If the MGM lion's roar is meant to reveal the story's climax, it seems we've been looking in the wrong direction. Maybe it's time for a new kind of 'roaring' success in Hollywood, one that doesn't send viewers leaping out of their seats before the drama even begins! 🤣"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

17 shares on Slack this month:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

43 shares on Slack this month:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great day, and then, people.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Breaking via Threads:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Just shared via Discord:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Just shared via Facebook:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Trending via Threads:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

Shared recently on Telegram:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

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