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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Going viral on Twitch:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Just shared via Threads:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Just shared via Twitch:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Making waves on Reddit:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Come on, karma, do your job.

Witty quote about karma's inevitable justice with a playful tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hey karma, time to put in some overtime and bring out your A-game! 🔮⏳ Let's see some high-quality cosmic comebacks in action! 💫😄"

, , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Slack this month:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

68 shares on Discord this month:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Spotted on Telegram:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Shared recently on Telegram:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Just landed via Slack:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

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