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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

55 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Live now on Telegram:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Just shared via Reddit:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Just shared via X:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Trending via Discord:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Reported on Threads:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

5 months ago

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's trying to reboot their diet by using the ultimate key combination – Ctrl Alt Delete my fat! If only it were that easy to reset our bodies like a computer system. Perhaps a healthy dose of Ctrl+C for copying gym routines and Ctrl+V for pasting salads into our daily meals might help too!"

Alt, Ctrl, delete, diet, fat, fitness, humor, joke, tech

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

55 minutes ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Live now on Slack:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Just landed via Slack:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Shared recently on X:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Going viral on WeChat:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

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