Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's trying to reboot their diet by using the ultimate key combination – Ctrl Alt Delete my fat! If only it were that easy to reset our bodies like a computer system. Perhaps a healthy dose of Ctrl+C for copying gym routines and Ctrl+V for pasting salads into our daily meals might help too!"

Alt, Ctrl, delete, diet, fat, fitness, humor, joke, tech

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

3 weeks ago

20s, 40s, age, aging, before, going, going out, home, humor, lifestyle, nightlife, party, used, welcome
I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

2 months ago

C, calculator, CE, clear, confusion, humor, i, math, mistakes, technology, times
Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

2 months ago

brain, brain damage, damage, humor, i, Instagram, Instagram Reel, media, original, original source, reel, social, social media, source, TikTok, watch
It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

2 months ago

engagement, frustration, humor, media, metrics, need, popularity, social, social media, ten, views
People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

1 month ago

annoy, humor, i, interaction, life, me, online, people, real, real life, sarcasm, social, social interaction
Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

5 months ago

account, days, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, motivation, routine, row, workout

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Just shared via Reddit:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Spotted on Facebook:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Going bananas on Threads:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

They expect me to work at work.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

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Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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