Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, so it seems the real secret to perfectly stacked dishes is the mysterious absence of women 🤔🍽️ No wonder the dishwasher suddenly becomes a Tetris master! 😂 #NoDirtyPlatesNoProblem"

around, dishwasher, domestic, domestic life, humor, life, load, properly, relationship, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

0

3 months ago

ambition, bed, humor, influence, laziness, me, motivation, procrastination, relatable, sleep
If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

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2 months ago

annoying, give, know, pretty, sure, think, time
Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

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2 months ago

attitude, comeback, compass, disrespect, humor, i, me, moral, moral compass, respond, response
Donuts hug you from the inside.

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2 months ago

comfort, donut, donuts, food, hug, humor, inside, snack, sweetness
We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

0

2 months ago

always, asked, hiding, humor, irony, mystery, never, perspective, question, Waldo, where
If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

0

2 months ago

boundary, car, comfort, driving, elbow, humor, little, middle, passenger, personal, personal space, piece, riding, space, yours

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Instagram this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

95 shares on X this month:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

37 shares on Threads this month:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Just shared via Facebook:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Going viral on Reddit:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Seen just now on Messenger:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Just shared via Threads:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Making waves on Twitch:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Donuts hug you from the inside.

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨