Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.