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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

35 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Seen just now on Threads:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Trending via WeChat:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Shared recently on X:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Just shared via X:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Seen just now on Discord:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Going viral on Discord:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

6 months ago

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

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Commentary:
Ah, December – the month when we frantically try to finish everything we planned to do all year in just 31 days! 🎉😅 It's like a high-stakes race against time that always ends in a festive flurry of chaos and jingle bells. 🎄🕰️ Don't worry, January is just around the corner to help us start procrastinating all over again! 🎉🙌 #EndOfTheYearBlues

celebration, December, end, festivity, holidays, humor, irony, reflection

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

35 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Live now on Instagram:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Just landed via WeChat:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Spotted on Threads:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Just shared via Threads:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Breaking via Facebook:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Just landed via TikTok:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

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