Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.
  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.
  • Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.
  • Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.
  • Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.
  • The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.