Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.
  • Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.
  • Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.
  • Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.
  • Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.
  • Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”