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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Trending via YouTube:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Going viral on WeChat:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Making waves on YouTube:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Just landed via WeChat:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Making waves on Instagram:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

0
Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of the sleepless souls: yearning for sweet slumber, but thwarted by the elusive sandman! 😴💤 Maybe sleep is just playing hard to get 🤔 or perhaps it's rebelling against our bedtime tyranny! 😆 Stay strong, weary wanderer, for the dreamland awaits you someday… hopefully! 🌙✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Threads this month:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

27 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

53 shares on X this month:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

87 shares on X this month:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,462

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Just shared via Instagram:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Spotted on Facebook:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Trending via Discord:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Going viral on Messenger:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Just landed via Twitch:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Trending via TikTok:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

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