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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Making waves on Facebook:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Just shared via Slack:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Shared recently on Slack:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Spotted on Reddit:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

Breaking via X:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Witty quote blending pop star humor with video game advice for a playful vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dua Lipa sings 'Don't Start Now,' while Mario tells Luigi, 'Jump a little higher!' 🎤👨‍🎤🎮 #SiblingStruggles #GottaReachThatPlatform"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Threads this month:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

92 shares on X this month:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

64 shares on Slack this month:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Farting, but with eye contact.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Just landed via TikTok:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Trending via Twitch:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Breaking via Twitch:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Trending via Twitch:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Just landed via Threads:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Shared recently on Messenger:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Just landed via Slack:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Spotted on Facebook:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Just landed via Facebook:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

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