Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Live now on Facebook:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Just landed via X:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Shared recently on X:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Trending via WeChat:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dua Lipa sings 'Don't Start Now,' while Mario tells Luigi, 'Jump a little higher!' 🎤👨‍🎤🎮 #SiblingStruggles #GottaReachThatPlatform"

advice, culture, dua, Dua Lipa, games, humor, lipa, Luigi, Mario, platform, pop, pop culture, singer, video, video games

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

0

2 months ago

day, enough, expectations, experience, General, great, having, humor, irony, old, parenting, rule
Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

0

2 months ago

conversation, hearing, humor, right, self-reflection, therapist, therapy
You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

0

2 months ago

bunny, bunny ear, ear, ears, gesture, giving, humor, nostalgia, people, photo, photography, photos, prank
I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

0

2 months ago

always, arm, carry, grocery, humor, i, keys, multitasking, one arm, pocket, struggle, wrong, wrong pocket
I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

0

2 months ago

communication, dog, human, humans, humor, i, idiot, looks, me, pet, relationship, talk
Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

0

2 months ago

another, control, daily, daily struggle, day, emotional, emotional control, feelings, felony, here, horn, humor, i, own, self-praise, struggle, through, turning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

64 shares on TikTok this month:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Live now on Threads:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Spotted on TikTok:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Going viral on TikTok:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Going viral on Messenger:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨