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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Live now on TikTok:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Going viral on Instagram:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Breaking via Telegram:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

2 months ago

0

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who says vegans can't have it all? 🌱🍝 Adding minced meat to vegan Bolognese is the ultimate plot twist! It's a culinary magic trick that leaves everyone scratching their heads… and licking their plates! 😂🤫 #VeganMeetsCarnivore"

Bolognese, celebration, cooking, everyone, humor, ingredient, irony, meat, minced, minced meat, sauce, secret, secret ingredient, vegan

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

0

2 months ago

energy, full, humor, know, me, moment, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, relatable, routine, wait, work
I had too much to think last night.

0

5 months ago

humor, i, last, much, night, overthinking, think, thinking, too
Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

0

2 months ago

alien, among, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, live, living, living among, me, observation, people, social, social interaction, undetected
You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

0

2 months ago

am, confidence, dating, DM, DMs, flirting, funnier, humor, i, joke, media, social, social media
Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

0

2 months ago

change, diet, diet joke, fat, food, food humor, food transformation, humor, joke, rolls, seasonal, seasonal change, spring, spring rolls, transformation, wait, weight, weight joke, winter, winter fat
I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, attitude, back, coming, communication, humor, i, just, rejection, sarcasm, sarcasm quote, where, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Spotted on Telegram:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Breaking via X:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Spotted on Messenger:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Shared recently on Facebook:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Just landed via Threads:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Live now on Instagram:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

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