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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Just landed via Slack:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Just landed via X:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Going bananas on YouTube:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Live now on Twitch:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Just landed via WeChat:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Spotted on Instagram:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

2 months ago

0

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who says vegans can't have it all? 🌱🍝 Adding minced meat to vegan Bolognese is the ultimate plot twist! It's a culinary magic trick that leaves everyone scratching their heads… and licking their plates! 😂🤫 #VeganMeetsCarnivore"

Bolognese, celebration, cooking, everyone, humor, ingredient, irony, meat, minced, minced meat, sauce, secret, secret ingredient, vegan

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

0

2 months ago

argue, communication, fast, female, humor, relationship, reply
Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, couple, humor, marriage, married, means, relationships, rooms, shouting
Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

0

2 months ago

1900s, attitude, era, gentle, humor, me, nostalgia, old fashioned, personality, vintage
That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

0

20 hours ago

brain, came, humor, just, only, thinking, wit
It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

0

2 months ago

adulting, afford, Christmas, Christmas shopping, even, financial, financial struggle, holiday, holiday season, humor, i, life, money, money problems, own, problems, relatable, season, shopping, struggle
69 but we both just farting.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, both, date, fart, humor, just, laughter, moment, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

79 shares on Discord this month:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

88 shares on X this month:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Just shared via Threads:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Trending via YouTube:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

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