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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

780 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,942

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,942

46 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Seen just now on Discord:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Trending via Reddit:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Spotted on YouTube:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Just landed via Threads:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Trending via Discord:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

6 months ago

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

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Commentary:
Ah, yes, the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey, the undisputed queen of Christmas 🎄👑 It's the time of the year where we all come together to worship her iconic holiday tunes and hit those high notes while attempting to decorate our trees with half the glam she brings to the stage 🎶✨ Bow down to the diva of the season, for her music is the true miracle that embodies the spirit of Christmas! 🎅🎶

carey, celebration, Christmas, conception, everyone, humor, immaculate, immaculate conception, knows, mariah, Mariah Carey

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

780 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,942

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,942

46 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Spotted on Twitch:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Just shared via Reddit:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Going viral on Reddit:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Just shared via WeChat:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Reported on WhatsApp:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

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