Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,018

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Going viral on Snapchat:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Making waves on WeChat:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Trending via Pinterest:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Just shared via Twitch:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Just landed via Discord:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Spotted on X:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Just shared via Messenger:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Expiration date? Nah, more like a gentle reminder that your food is playing hard-to-get 😉🚫🥑 #SpoilerAlert #FreshnessGoneMissing"

alert, date, expiration, expiration date, food, humor, jokes, spoiler, spoiler alert

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

0

4 months ago

awkwardness, dentist, embarrassment, hate, humiliating, humor, i, pants, taking
If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

0

1 month ago

every, expectation, half, hour, humor, minutes, need, ready, relationship, remind, reminder, shell, time, woman
The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

0

2 months ago

contemplation, humor, i, jury, legal, myself, question, self-reflection, think
My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

0

2 months ago

favorite, humor, measurement, smithereens, unit, wordplay
Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

0

2 months ago

cost, expensive, give, going, humor, irony, just, me, plane, plane ticket, ride, ticket, transportation, travel
I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

0

1 month ago

communication, fandom, fluency, humor, i, love, people, reference, references, Spongebob

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on X this month:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

11 shares on X this month:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

25 shares on X this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

51 shares on Threads this month:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Going viral on Telegram:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Trending via Discord:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Spotted on Slack:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Spreading quickly via X:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Live now on Telegram:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨