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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

โ€œStalkingโ€. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Of course thereโ€™s birth control for men. Itโ€™s called the way they act.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Apparently itโ€™s inappropriate to yell out โ€œShots, shots, shots, shotsโ€ while your childโ€™s getting immunizations at the pediatricianโ€™s office.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

I wish I could join, but Iโ€™m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2066 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,228

Funny Quotes Topics

14,972

Funny Quotes Images

12,228

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Slack:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Going viral on Facebook:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so thatโ€™s how I became perfect.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Just shared via WeChat:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whoever said diamonds are a girlโ€™s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Spotted on YouTube:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Live now on Messenger:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Just shared via Reddit:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Explain it to me like Iโ€™m five then do it for me like Iโ€™m one hundred.

Explain it to me like Iโ€™m five then do it for me like Iโ€™m one hundred.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
Alright, let's break it down! ๐Ÿง’๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿป

"Okay kiddo, imagine this: you know how you ask for candy and get excited, right? Well, when you're a hundred, it's like having all the candy you want without even asking. Isn't that cool?" ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿฌ

Age is just a number, but the wisdom in between is priceless! ๐ŸŒŸ #KidAtHeart

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2066 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,228

Funny Quotes Topics

14,972

Funny Quotes Images

12,228

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has bookmarked:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didnโ€™t think Iโ€™d stay this long.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Making waves on Discord:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Live now on Messenger:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Why is it spelled โ€œcamouflageโ€ and not โ€œ โ€œ?

Trending via X:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Itโ€™s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. Theyโ€™re calling it the Apollo G.

Trending via TikTok:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

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