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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Jan 5, 2026

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Freshly posted on Slack:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Breaking via X:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Breaking via Reddit:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Just landed via TikTok:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Live now on Discord:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Just shared via Facebook:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

2 months ago

0

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine Celine Dion belting out 'E O I E A!' Sounds like a farm concert you wouldn't want to miss! 🎤🐓🚜 #MusicalAgriculture"

celine, Celine Dion, dion, fact, farm, fun, fun fact, humor, lyrics, mcdonald, name, old, Old McDonald, vowels

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, broke, clothes, crisis, fit, grown up, humor, i, identity, identity crisis, over-thinker, overthinker, pretty, remember, self-deprecation, stressed-out, sure, wanted
Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

0

2 months ago

avoid, elevator, fear, frighten, humor, i, joke, me, pun, steps, take
Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

0

2 months ago

clothing, fashion, fit, humor, once, over, pants, perfect, perfectly, style
Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

0

2 months ago

character, contrast, existence, humor, parody, shady, slim, Slim Shady, sunny, thicc, Thicc Sunny, wordplay
I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

0

2 months ago

chair, climbing, die, drink, drinking, dying, Fanta, hill, humor, laziness, orange, relaxation, sounds, terrible
I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

0

2 months ago

ago, coworkers, funny observation, i, life, LinkedIn, media, nostalgia, observation, past, past photos, photos, social, social media, work, work life, year’s, years ago

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Live now on Reddit:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Seen just now on WeChat:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Going viral on Twitch:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Just landed via X:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Going viral on Twitch:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

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