16 Funny ago quotes

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

  Commentary:
  "Feeling prehistoric, but still roaring! 🦖🦕 Just call me 'Grandasaurus Rex'! 👴🤣"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

  Commentary:
  “When old job habits die hard… still giving my boss TMI, 5 months later. 💩📱😂”

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

  Commentary:
  "Well, that spiderweb video was a crucial part of my phone's memory bank for so long, but it's time to make space for more important things like 100 more cat memes 📱🕷️🕸️ #PrioritiesShifted"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

  Commentary:
  "Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, I was busy catching up on 8-month-old missed calls! 😅 Hope everything’s still A-Okay on your end! 📞🕰️"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the beauty of hindsight! 💰💸 Buying 1 Bitcoin ten years ago sure feels like a missed opportunity… or does it? 🤔 Remember, in the world of crypto, even staying the same can be a win! 🚀😂 #HODLgang

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

  Commentary:
  🤣🎉 Oh, the circle of life! Just when we think we've got it all figured out, the universe kindly reminds us that we were just tiny potatoes in a much larger stew of life's absurdity a year ago. Here's to another year of growing, learning, and looking back at our former selves like, "Wow, an actual potato had more sense than me back then!" 🥔🤓

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

  Commentary:
  "November is flying by faster than a pair of jet-propelled lesbians on a rollercoaster romance 🎢💨💗 #WhirlwindRomance"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old mystery of extraterrestrial life 💫 If only aliens accepted government funding, we'd have interplanetary stimulus packages by now! 👽💸 #GovernmentPriorities"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

  Commentary:
  "Googling symptoms: the ultimate rollercoaster ride between 'It's just allergies' and 'Guess I'm a ghost now' 👻🤧 #DrGoogleSays"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

  Commentary:
  "From standing out in a crowd to blending in at dull meetings – who knew adulting came with such plot twists? 🤷‍♂️ At least you can brag about your versatility, right?"

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