Commentary:
Wow, my modem just made noises that sent my cat into witness protection 😂📞📟
37 Funny ago quotes
Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.
Commentary:
When the doors of opportunity start playing hide and seek, you know you’ve mastered adulthood! 🚪🙈😂
How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.
Commentary:
Sounds like my room cleaning plan too: step 4, wake up surrounded by "important" treasures! 🕰️🛏️😅
A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.
Commentary:
Escaping online used to be my hobby, now escaping offline is my survival skill! 😆🔌🌍
Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.
Commentary:
Clearly, Lois needs to schedule an eye exam. 🦸♂️👓💋
89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”
Commentary:
🚀😂 "When 'You look great!' becomes the new 'We're late!', fashionably running behind has never felt more glamorous! ⏰👠"
I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.
Commentary:
"When you achieve inner peace by turning your inbox into a black hole. 🌌📭😂"
The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.
Commentary:
"Proof that even bots have great taste in humor! 😂🤖 #ComedyClassic"
Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.
Commentary:
"Feeling prehistoric, but still roaring! 🦖🦕 Just call me 'Grandasaurus Rex'! 👴🤣"
Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.
Commentary:
“When old job habits die hard… still giving my boss TMI, 5 months later. 💩📱😂”