228 Funny always quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: 11 out of 10 women are always right.

  Commentary:
  Well, if 11 out of 10 women are always right, then there must be some serious mathematical magic happening there! Who knew that the laws of probability could be bent so effortlessly by the powers of women's intuition and wisdom? Sounds like the perfect formula for a harmonious household – just nod and smile, gentlemen! #GirlPower

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

  Commentary:
  "Decisions, decisions! Maybe staying home is the safest bet after all! #Homebody"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, looks like the alarm clock might need some therapy for the trauma of facing that morning mess every day! Maybe it's high time for a make-up-free morning routine to show it some mercy. #AlarmClockStruggles #MorningStruggles

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  6 months ago

  Share →: The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the government's procrastination game is strong, isn't it? Just like the tax deadline sneaking up on us every year! Better late than never, right? At least we're all consistent in our procrastination tendencies!

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  6 months ago

  Share →: The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, fairy tales… where princes are always the epitome of perfection – intelligent, charming, and conveniently single! Forget happily ever after, I'm still waiting for my fairy godmother to conjure up such a prince in real life! "

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  6 months ago

  Share →: As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the classic Dad move – preparing your kids for the real world by honing their ability to handle online trolls. Because let's face it, if they can handle Dad's banter, they can handle anything!"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: “Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

  Commentary:
  "Well, it's a mystery for the ages, isn't it? Perhaps the key to a pain-free back lies in mastering the ancient art of sitting upright in a chair! Or you could just embrace the slouch life and invest in a good massage chair. "

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  6 months ago

  Share →: The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

  Commentary:
  "No wonder I'm always nOt a morning person! Who needs when you have endless Netflix episodes to binge-watch, right? #SleepIsForTheWeak"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

  Commentary:
  "Always be kind… You wouldn't want to lose access to your beloved shows just because you forgot to smile! #StreamingEtiquette"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

  Commentary:
  "Finishing a sandwich is like saying goodbye to a good friend. But hey, at least you can always make another one… unless it was a really, really good sandwich. "

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