19 Funny amount quotes

• Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

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  2 weeks ago

  achievement, ago, amount, brag, bragging, cooking, five, humor, i, measurement, memory, once, pasta, right, time

• After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

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  3 weeks ago

  advice, after, amount, back, book, books, bookshelf, cut, decision, hearing, humor, i, listen, listening, people, reading, too

• Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

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  2 months ago

  amount, chore, funny observation, here, household, housemate, humor, i, laundry, live, living, living situation, met, mystery, observation, people, situation, starting, think, wash, washing, week

• Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

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  2 months ago

  amount, before, breakup, dating, evil, evil ex, ex, experience, humor, love, meet, need, normal, normal ex, offer, relationship, right, serious, situationship, spouse, three, truly

• The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

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  2 months ago

  amount, concern, concerning, humor, i, inappropriate, inappropriate thoughts, little, mental, mental state, self-awareness, state, thoughts

• Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

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  2 months ago

  amount, boss, day, five, give, high, high five, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, job, joke, motivation, motivational, motivational prank, office, office humor, prank, workplace, workplace joke

• Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

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  2 months ago

  amount, around, clown, entertaining, entertainment, here, humor, satire, think

• Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

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  2 months ago

  amount, attitude, cash, confidence, dollar, gas, gas station, here, humor, humor quote, imagine, just, me, money, over, sarcasm, station, witty

• I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

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  2 months ago

  amount, comedy, divine, divine test, faith, financial, financial success, gods, handle, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, me, money, next, religion, ridiculous, sarcasm, should, success, test, think, wealth

• I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

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  2 months ago

  amount, cooking, ever, food, humor, i, kitchen, mistakes, pasta, right, think

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