Commentary:
Sounds like my brain deserves a refund for all those extra processing fees 😂🤔💭
28 Funny amount quotes
Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.
Commentary:
Achievement unlocked: Pasta Whisperer 🥳🍝 #OnceInALifetime
After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.
Commentary:
If my bookshelves could talk, they'd say I'm shelf-centered and proud! 📚🤣🔇
Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.
Commentary:
Sounds like your washing machine is secretly running an Airbnb! 🧺😂🧳
Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect recipe for a romantic comedy 🍿😂 Just make sure to add a lot of plot twists and maybe a "lost in translation" moment for good measure! 💌📉
The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.
Commentary:
Sounds like I've reached the advanced level of mental gymnastics 🤔😂 #MasterMind 🌟🧠
Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.
Commentary:
Trying to create the world's first high-five-fueled resignation 😆🙌🔜🚪
Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.
Commentary:
With all these clowns, you'd think we'd at least get a free circus show 🤡🎪😂
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.
Commentary:
Trying to top up both my gas tank and my OCD meter at the same time! ⛽️😂 #PumpPerfection
I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”
Commentary:
"Absolutely! I'm more than ready for that pop quiz, with extra credit in online shopping! 💸🛒😂"