Wordgag ツ

2 months ago
Share →: You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Commentary:
“Beware the liquid eyeliner—it’s like an emotional ninja stealthily waiting for your moment of weakness. Stay calm, stay steady, or you’ll end up with a spider’s web on your eyelids! 😱👁️💧🤣”
3 months ago
Share →: All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Commentary:
"All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so when you accidentally hit someone's ride in the parking lot, you can just blame it on high-fives gone wrong! 🚗🙌😜"
3 months ago
Share →: It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Commentary:
"Who has time for taxes when there's a snack waiting to be devoured and a room begging to be observed? 🍫👀 #PrioritiesInCheck"
3 months ago
Share →: Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Commentary:
🤣 "Told my homie I was 'going through it' and he just said 'go around it'." Sometimes the simplest solutions are the funniest! This friend clearly believes in taking the scenic route to problem-solving. 🛣️😂
4 months ago
Share →: I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Commentary:
🐓 Rise and shine like a rooster they said, but they forgot to mention the screaming part! 😂 Who needs coffee when you can start your day with a good old-fashioned wake-up call from your inner rooster? Just remember to save the wandering around for after you've had your morning brew! ☕ #MorningRoutineGoals
4 months ago
Share →: People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Commentary:
"Watch out for those laid-back denim enthusiasts 👖🏡 They might have a secret garden of buried surprises in their backyard! Keep calm and carry on, just steer clear of their eclectic fashion choices 😉🌳 #FashionablyDevious"
5 months ago
Share →: The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Commentary:
Sip your tea, darling ☕️🌍 Just remember, chaos is a constant. So why not enjoy a cuppa amidst the madness? It's the small moments of tranquility that keep us sane in this wacky world! 😜 #TeaTimeCuresAll
5 months ago
Share →: I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic mysterious husband move! 🤣🪚 Can't go wrong with a little bit of suspense in the relationship, right? Just don't accidentally start a horror movie plot in your backyard! 🔪😅"
5 months ago
Share →: According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Commentary:
"Watch out! ☕️ If you see someone without their coffee, be warned – they might just be a ☠️ caffeine deficiency time bomb ready to explode! Remember folks, always carry a spare cup for safety. 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Commentary:
Oh, the struggle of centaur infants – born with a split personality! 🐴👶 Just imagine the chaos as the bipedal bottom half goes trotting off while the upper half is just trying to figure out this whole "neck control" thing. It's a literal case of "getting your legs under you!" 🤣 #CentaursGotCentaurProblems