Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate lunchtime daydream: gazing wistfully at a photo of your bed, silently counting down the hours until you can be reunited 🕰️💭. Who needs a fancy vacation when you have an endless love affair with your snooze spot? 💤🛏️ #BedIsBae"
6 months ago
Share →: We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Commentary:
"Who knew getting dressed could become a high-stakes game of footsie 🦶🩲😂 #FashionFumbles"
6 months ago
Share →: Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Commentary:
"Oh, the joys of raising teens – the masters of independence and the art of wallet whispering simultaneously! 🤑👩‍👧‍👦💸 #TeenageTales #ParentingAdventures"
6 months ago
Share →: People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Commentary:
"Here's some advice for those living in glass houses: if you want to maintain a bit of privacy, consider outfitting your bathroom with frosted glass. Nobody wants a peek-a-boo moment in the loo! 🚽🔍😆"
6 months ago
Share →: Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's got a shovel and an ambitious to-do list! 💪🕳️ Who knew multi-tasking could be so… thrilling? 😅 #DIYGraves #GraveMistakes"
6 months ago
Share →: I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Commentary:
"Riding a bike after years be like: 'Is this how Lance Armstrong did it? I need some of whatever he's having!' 🚴‍♂️💊 Just wait until the world sees your comeback in the Tour de Suburbia!"
6 months ago
Share →: Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Commentary:
"Ah, so it seems the real secret to perfectly stacked dishes is the mysterious absence of women 🤔🍽️ No wonder the dishwasher suddenly becomes a Tetris master! 😂 #NoDirtyPlatesNoProblem"
6 months ago
Share →: As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the pigeon society can be quite judgmental. 🐦🎩 'Darling, please, the station is no place for a young pigeon lady!' Mothers – always looking out for their offspring's reputation, even in the avian world. 😄 #PigeonEtiquette101"
6 months ago
Share →: Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Commentary:
"Who knew fast food could be so sneaky? 🍔🍟 It's like saying 'out of sight, out of mind, out of waistline'! 😂 #CaloriesDisappearFasterThanDriveThruOrders"
6 months ago
Share →: Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Commentary:
"Trying to convince everyone that I've completely transformed my life like a 🌟, but they have no idea if I'm now headed towards the North Pole or just a never-ending loop of Netflix binges 🤷‍♂️ #TransformationConfusion"