Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Reported on Discord:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Just shared via Instagram:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Seen just now on Discord:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Making waves on Twitch:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Making waves on Reddit:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Freshly posted on Slack:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Home » Funny Biweekly Quotes

Funny biweekly quotes

New funny biweekly quotes 👇

For even more funny biweekly quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny biweekly quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Going viral on Instagram:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Trending via Discord:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Freshly posted on Discord:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Making waves on Messenger:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Live now on YouTube:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴