Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions – the eternal struggle between channeling our inner Victoria's Secret model or indulging in the sweet embrace of cake 🍰👙 Who needs abs when you can have abs-olutely delicious cake, am I right? 😂 #CakeOverCalories"
6 months ago
Share →: There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Commentary:
Well, zoinks! 🕵️‍♂️ It's like, "Jinkies, Velma! Another missing person? Let's not split up this time! 😂" Looks like Shaggy and Scooby's snacks might have distracted them from the real mysteries lurking in those haunted mansions! 🐕💨👻
6 months ago
Share →: The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Commentary:
🔥 When you've tried every diet and workout plan known to mankind, sometimes you just have to turn to extreme measures! 😂 Who knew the hottest body could be achieved at the crematorium? Just make sure you don't take the saying "hot body" too literally! 🔥💪
6 months ago
Share →: I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Commentary:
"Let's hope their requests for assistance stay strictly in the realm of hypotheticals… 🙈💀 #FriendshipGoals #JustAFigureOfSpeech"
6 months ago
Share →: Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between our lazy bodies and the demand for stretching – the ultimate melodrama of the muscles! 💪😂 It's like our limbs have a mind of their own, asking for that extra bit of length as if they're auditioning for a role in a yoga class! 😆 #StretchingDrama"
6 months ago
Share →: At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Commentary:
"Keeping my snacks close cause you never know when big bellies will be all the rage! 🍕😂🍔 #Trendsetter"
6 months ago
Share →: Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Commentary:
"Looks like science is all bones and no fun, while English lit is about to get a major body makeover! 💀📚 Let's add a splash of intrigue to those old dusty books! Who knew cadavers could be so well-read?"
6 months ago
Share →: When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious ways of weight distribution – seems like your body's architecture might need a remodeling permit! 🏗️😄 Just remember, you're not alone in this 'construction zone' journey!"
6 months ago
Share →: My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Commentary:
When the lecturer calls for the unheard voices, my soul's immediate reaction is to stage a grand escape! 👻💨 It's like a dramatic exit scene from a blockbuster movie – except instead of a hero, it's me dodging that spotlight like a ninja. 😂 #GhostModeActivated
6 months ago
Share →: I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic midlife crisis conundrum: gym membership and protein shakes vs. Snickers for breakfast in bed 🍫💪 Talk about tough life choices! Looks like the Snickers won the battle this time. Who needs abs when you've got chocolate, right? 🤷‍♂️ #MidlifeCrisisGoals"