Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Trending via Slack:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Just shared via Slack:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

Funny bonehead quotes

New funny bonehead quotes 👇

All funny bonehead quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on X this month:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

16 shares on Discord this month:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Going viral on Instagram:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Going viral on Pinterest:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Seen just now on Telegram:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Making waves on TikTok:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴