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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Breaking via Messenger:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Live now on TikTok:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Seen just now on Slack:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Making waves on Facebook:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Trending via X:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Making waves on Discord:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Just shared via X:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Seen just now on Discord:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Going viral on Telegram:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Live now on Instagram:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Live now on YouTube:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Trending via Instagram:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

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