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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Making waves on Twitch:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Seen just now on Discord:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Live now on YouTube:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Making waves on YouTube:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Going viral on WeChat:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Live now on X:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Going viral on Discord:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1891 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,053

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,053

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Trending via LinkedIn:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Going viral on Discord:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Reported on Messenger:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Freshly posted on X:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Going viral on Twitch:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Making waves on YouTube:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

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