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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Slack:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Spotted on Reddit:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Making waves on Discord:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Making waves on Threads:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Spotted on Facebook:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Live now on Reddit:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Shared recently on Threads:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Live now on Snapchat:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

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