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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Trending via Slack:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Just landed via Slack:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Making waves on Threads:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Going viral on Twitch:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Reported on Telegram:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Instagram:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Live now on X:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Making waves on WeChat:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Reported on Snapchat:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Making waves on Discord:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Reported on LinkedIn:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Going viral on Discord:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

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