Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Freshly posted on X:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Spotted on YouTube:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Breaking via Facebook:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Breaking via Facebook:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Spotted on X:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Funny bulletproof vest quotes

New funny bulletproof vest quotes 👇

All funny bulletproof vest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Instagram this month:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

75 shares on Slack this month:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Making waves on Telegram:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Trending via WeChat:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Breaking via TikTok:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Making waves on Telegram:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Going viral on Instagram:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Seen just now on X:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴