15 funny gun quotes - Wordgag

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

May 29, 2026

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

May 29, 2026

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

May 29, 2026

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

May 29, 2026

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

May 28, 2026

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

May 26, 2026

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

May 26, 2026

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

May 25, 2026

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

May 24, 2026

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

May 23, 2026

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

May 23, 2026

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

May 23, 2026

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

May 22, 2026

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

May 22, 2026

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

May 21, 2026