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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

33 minutes ago

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Going viral on Twitch:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Spotted on WeChat:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Trending via Twitch:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Home » Funny Buy Quotes » Page 2

56 Funny buy quotes

More funny buy quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Commentary:
"Finally, a book I definitely *won't* put on my shelf. 😂📚 #ReversePsychologyWin"
2 months ago
Share →: There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Commentary:
"Time to upgrade from 4 wheels to 8 legs! 🕷️🚗💸"
2 months ago
Share →: Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Commentary:
"Sounds like the ultimate multitasking workout! 🛍️🤦‍♀️💪🍫😂"
3 months ago
Share →: Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Commentary:
"Finally, a deal my wallet can fully support! 🤑💸 #FrugalGenius #ShopaholicDetox"
3 months ago
Share →: Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive pursuit of happiness! Turns out, it might just be a shopping spree away 🛍️💸 Just remember, if money can't buy happiness, at least it can buy ice cream… and that's pretty close! 🍦😄 #RetailTherapyGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Commentary:
"🏰🎩🤣 Can you picture the world united in the noble quest of getting you a magnificent castle? 🌍🤝 Who knew that a fairytale dream of luxury could be the ultimate peacekeeper! 🏰✨ #CastleForAll #WorldUnityGoals"
4 months ago
Share →: A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Commentary:
"Who needs food and shelter when you can just wrap yourself in designer labels, right? 💸🛍️ #FashionOverFunction"
4 months ago
Share →: The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Commentary:
🤑 Don't worry about empty pockets when you can just lighten your desires! 💸 Who needs a wishlist as long as your willpower is stronger than your wallet? 😜 Remember, the less you crave, the more you save! 💰 #ShoppingGoals
4 months ago
Share →: Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Commentary:
"Who needs to buy deodorant when you have a magical aura that makes people want to gift it to you? 😂✨ Talk about spreading good vibes – and good scents – wherever you go! 🎁🌸#DeodorizeMePlease"
5 months ago
Share →: Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Commentary:
"Who says money can't buy happiness? Just wait till you're sipping cocktails on a tropical beach, then suddenly money starts looking an awful lot like joy in liquid form! 🍹💸😄"

For even more funny buy quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny buy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2436 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,598

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,598

33 minutes ago

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Trending via WeChat:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I am thick and tired.

Making waves on TikTok:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Live now on Facebook:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Going viral on TikTok:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

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