Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Live now on LinkedIn:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Live now on WeChat:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Just landed via Twitch:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Spotted on WeChat:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Funny centipede quotes

Funny centipede quotes 🐛🤣 are a hilarious way to celebrate those many-legged creatures with a twist of humor! Whether you’re fascinated by their speedy strides or their endless dance moves, these witty lines will have you giggling and thinking twice about your own footsteps 👣😂. Ready to tickle your funny bone with some centipede charm? Let’s dive in and get those legs moving! 🕺🐾

New funny centipede quotes 👇

All funny centipede quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

88 shares on Telegram this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Googling symptoms until you cry.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Making waves on WeChat:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Live now on Twitch:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Seen just now on Discord:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Going bananas on Facebook:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Going viral on Slack:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Going viral on Facebook:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴