103 Funny child quotes

• I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

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  2 hours ago

  child, debt, family, finance, humor, i, joke, love, me, money, parenting, parents, pay, spending, world

• In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

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  4 hours ago

  awkward, awkward moment, baby, best, child, conversation, drunken, drunken night, family, family conversation, guess, honesty, humor, i, moment, night, parenting, response, retrospect, stupidity, where

• Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

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  10 hours ago

  bedroom, bone, card, child, credit, credit card, decorated, decoration, flirt, humor, looks, messy, messy room, room, sorry, still, want

• You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

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  12 hours ago

  activity, blonde, blonde child, child, children, cream, ever, expensive, family, family outing, humor, ice, ice cream parlour, observation, outing, parlour, summer, summer activity, think

• Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

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  13 hours ago

  behavior, child, child behavior, correct, humor, i, interruption, kid, kids, moment, parenting, yourself

• Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

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  13 hours ago

  being, child, childhood, curiosity, follows, funny thought, me, miss, moon, nostalgia, thought, why, wonder, wondering

• Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

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  15 hours ago

  birth, born, child, day, humor, name, prediction

• Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

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  15 hours ago

  away, boyfriend, chase, child, dating, flirting, humor, i, men, rejection, relationship, started, telling

• A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

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  16 hours ago

  behavior, chaos, child, child behavior, daily, daily life, day, humor, life, minute, most, people, productivity, toddler, unsupervised, unsupervised minute

• Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

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  17 hours ago

  asked, child, honesty, humor, nobody, parenting, roommate, toddler, toddlers

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