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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

1 hour ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Just landed via Facebook:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Going viral on Telegram:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Reported on WeChat:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Spotted on Pinterest:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Spotted on X:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Home » Funny Child Quotes

75 Funny child quotes

Funny child quotes 🎉 capture the pure joy and unexpected wisdom that only little ones can deliver 🤔💬. Their innocent perspectives and hilarious misunderstandings keep us smiling 😊 and remind us of the simple joys in life. Whether it’s a mix-up of words or a surprisingly profound thought, these gems 💎 offer a delightful glimpse into a child’s wondrous world. Get ready to laugh 😂 and be charmed by the quirky things kids say!

New funny child quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Commentary:
Trying to convince kids that crypto isn't just grown-up Monopoly money: mission impossible 🎩🪙🤹‍♂️
3 days ago
Share →: Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Commentary:
Watch out, world, there's a pro in the car seat! 👶🚗😂
3 days ago
Share →: Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Commentary:
If celebrities keep naming kids like they're new Apple products, we're going to end up with a generation called iKid and Kid Pro Max! 😂🤦‍♂️🎤
4 days ago
Share →: I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Commentary:
Toddlers dropping F-bombs like it's a toy they found on the floor 😂🧸#BadButHilarious
4 days ago
Share →: My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Commentary:
Finally, some peace and quiet! 🌙😴 #SilentVictory
4 days ago
Share →: My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Commentary:
When you realize being a walking encyclopedia was not in the parenting manual 😂📚🤔
4 days ago
Share →: Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Commentary:
Parenting level unlocked: Turn mess into mystery with the classic 'closed door' technique! 🚪😄✨
4 days ago
Share →: Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Commentary:
Trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe while spilling cereal everywhere, since forever 😄🍎🥣
5 days ago
Share →: The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Commentary:
Sounds like you need earplugs, or maybe your own snoring symphony 🎶🐶😴
5 days ago
Share →: Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Commentary:
It's all fun and games until you meet someone named Broccoli! 🥦😂

For even more funny child quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny child quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

1 hour ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Trending via Messenger:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Breaking via Threads:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Trending via TikTok:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Just landed via Discord:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Going viral on Discord:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Going viral on Reddit:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

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