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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

10 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Just shared via YouTube:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Just shared via Twitch:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Just shared via Twitch:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Breaking via WeChat:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Making waves on X:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Home » Funny Cockpit Quotes

Funny cockpit quotes

New funny cockpit quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Commentary:
Well, it was either "cockpit" or "bird's-eye seat" 🤷‍♂️ I guess the idea of being perched up high like a cool pilot won out over the alternative of feeling like a confused pigeon 🐦✈️ Sometimes, all it takes is a good old-fashioned game of "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe" to make these monumental decisions!

For even more funny cockpit quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny cockpit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

10 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Making waves on Telegram:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Spotted on Pinterest:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Live now on Threads:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

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