Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Commentary:
"Who knew that mastering the art of relaxation and zen could be so competitive? Watch out, this blood pressure machine might just challenge you to a rematch!"

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Commentary:
"Remember, if you can't beat them, there's always the option to hire a professional beat-maker. Just make sure to check their references first!"

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Commentary:
"Who needs a boxing ring when you have a Monopoly board? It's all fun and games until someone lands on Park Place without a hotel. Family fistfights, now with a chance card twist!"

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, because nothing says conflict resolution like settling disputes with a good old-fashioned duel. Just imagine the corporate boardroom meetings spicing things up with some swordplay and pistols at dawn. Who needs HR when you have honor and a steady hand, right?"