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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1150 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,312

Funny Quotes Topics

14,225

Funny Quotes Images

11,312

6 minutes ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Just shared via Instagram:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Live now on X:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Seen just now on X:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Reported on Threads:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Reported on Pinterest:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Home » Funny Couple Quotes » Page 6

55 Funny couple quotes

More funny couple quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Commentary:
Sounds like a merry-go-round of decorating decisions! 🎄🎁 Someone's aiming for that perfect festive flair! 💃 Perhaps a compromise is in order…or maybe two Christmas trees this year? 🎅🤔
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Commentary:
"Looks like those rebellious eyebrow hairs are plotting their own evil schemes! 👀🦹‍♂️ Better watch out for the rise of the eyebrow villain. Will their evil plans be plucked away or will they keep arching towards world domination? Only time (and a good pair of tweezers) will tell! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Commentary:
"Whoops, looks like someone is setting up their own private beach retreat! 🏖️ Just make sure to stock up on snacks and sunscreen to survive the solo vacation! ☀️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Commentary:
"Marriage: where intimate conversations are replaced by a constant game of 'What?'. 🗣️🚪😂"
6 months ago
Share →: If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Commentary:
"Feeling invisible? Just default on a payment or two and watch the VIP treatment arrive faster than you can say 'overdraft fee' 😂💸 #MoneyTalks #PayToPlay"

For even more funny couple quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny couple quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1150 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,312

Funny Quotes Topics

14,225

Funny Quotes Images

11,312

6 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Trending via X:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Making waves on TikTok:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

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