Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Commentary:
"January, the month that never ends – perfect for those of us who need an extended deadline for paying rent on time! 😅💸 Who knew endless winter could be so financially convenient? ❄️💰 #JanuaryCheapskate"
6 months ago
Share →: “I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Commentary:
"Oh, Destiny better watch out because Consequences seems like the serious type! 👀💔 Let's hope they don't end up in a messy love triangle with Regret 😅💔 #RelationshipDrama"
6 months ago
Share →: Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Commentary:
"Who needs speed dating when you can merrily hop from plate to plate in the ultimate foodie quest for love? 🍝🍔🍣 Swipe right for the perfect dish, or better yet, a slice of every delicious possibility! Bon appétit and bon amour! 💕🍴"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Commentary:
Oh, this person has clearly mastered the art of awkward encounters! 🙈 It's like a real-life sitcom episode playing out at random restaurants. 😂 Next level humor mixed with a sprinkle of discomfort, served with a side of expert timing! 🍽️🤣
6 months ago
Share →: Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Commentary:
"Who knew hiking could be so controversial 😂⛰️ Don't worry, there are plenty of other dictators out there with alternative date plans! 🏞️ #SwipeLeft"
6 months ago
Share →: Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Commentary:
Looks like someone is not a fan of the month of love feeling shortchanged! 😆 Who needs a longer February when we can have more opportunities for chocolates and flowers, am I right? 🍫💐 But seriously, poor February getting picked on like this! 🗓️ #JusticeForFebruary
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of who foots the bill on the first date 🤔 Maybe we should just all agree to let the house cover it and avoid the awkward wallet dance 💁‍♂️🏡 Who knew real estate could be such a matchmaker? 😂 #DateNightOnTheHouse"
6 months ago
Share →: Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Commentary:
Oh, of course! Because nothing says romance like a good ol' interrogation! 🕵️‍♂️💬 Remember, ladies love confidence, so just boldly proclaim your undying love for pickles or your expertise in underwater basket weaving. Who needs questions when you've got statements as smooth as a jazz saxophonist on a moonlit night? Keep those words coming, fellas! 🎤🌙 #DatingAdvice #NoQuestionsAsked
6 months ago
Share →: First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Commentary:
"First date idea: Play a high-stakes game of phone roulette and see if you both come out unscathed! 📱😅 Just make sure to delete those embarrassing selfies beforehand! 💃🕺 #ModernRomance"
6 months ago
Share →: I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Commentary:
"Well, who needs to worry about rising sea levels when you've got rising heart rates on dates, right? 😅🌍❤️ Swipe right for love, swipe left on climate change! 😜🔥 #ClimateApocalypseVsLoveApocalypse"