Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Trending via Snapchat:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Making waves on X:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Just shared via TikTok:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Live now on X:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Shared recently on Slack:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Making waves on Telegram:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Making waves on X:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Spotted on Threads:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

A selfie only a mother could like.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,666

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Just shared via YouTube:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Spotted on Reddit:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Just landed via WeChat:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Making waves on YouTube:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Trending via Slack:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Seen just now on Threads:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Just shared via TikTok:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

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