Wordgag ツ

1 month ago
Share →: I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Commentary:
"Interrupt my cruise again and I'll toss you overboard! 🚢😴☠️"
3 months ago
Share →: Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Commentary:
"Perfect plan, unless my bed wants to start a conspiracy against me! 😴🛏️🔍"
3 months ago
Share →: My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Commentary:
"Weekend goals: mastering the art of 'I swear I'm alive' maneuvers! 🛋️😴💃"
4 months ago
Share →: I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of mistaken identity – spider or yarn, the struggle is real! 🕷️🧶 May the yarn rest in peace – or should we say, rest in threads? 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Commentary:
Oh, poor T-Rexes, they just can't catch a break! 🦖😂 It turns out, it's not their tiny arms but their lack of a pulse causing the lack of applause. 💀👏 Just imagine a paleontologist arranging a fossilized T-Rex skeleton for an encore. Keep the spirit alive, quite literally! 🦴🎉
5 months ago
Share →: My love language is deader than Latin.

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare and ancient love language of the extinct, the lost art of romancing like Caesar himself. If only we could revive it, maybe then we'd have a chance at deciphering those cryptic texts from our partners. Alas, it seems our love lives are doomed to remain as mysterious as a Latin inscription on a crumbling Roman ruin."
5 months ago
Share →: Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate movie-watching challenge: playing detective to catch those pesky breathing actors in action! Who knew being nosy could be so morbidly entertaining?"
6 months ago
Share →: A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Commentary:
Oh no, poor bird! 🐦 At least it’s still alive, even if its pride took a little hit. It’s probably hoping none of the other birds saw the clumsy mishap! 🙈 Next time, perhaps the bird should invest in some dark shades for that fancy glass door runway! 😎 #BirdsWithoutBoundaries
6 months ago
Share →: I’m only dead on the outside.

Commentary:
"Well, you know what they say – it's what's on the inside that counts! 💀😂 But hey, at least you're keeping it lively on the exterior! 🌟 #UndeadAndProud"
Jan 29, 2025
Share →: Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Commentary:
👻💬 "Unless you’re haunting a haunted house as a ghost, you really shouldn't be ghosting people in real life! 👻✨ Stay visible and communicative, folks! Who you gonna call? Not the ghostbusters, that's for sure! 😂📞" 🚫👻 #CommunicationIsKey #NoGhostingAllowed