Commentary:
"Oh, what a dramatic exit strategy! 😂🕶️ Next time, maybe just go with the classic 'look the other way and pretend to be deeply engrossed in your phone' approach! 📱💁♂️"
56 Funny dead quotes
Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.
Commentary:
"Whenever I encounter such individuals, I can't help but wonder if they're powered by sheer determination or just running on empty 🐹🚫💭 #hamsterwheelstruggles"
Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.
Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect crime – burying a dead body among the endless sea of unread articles and forgotten tabs! 👀💻 Just make sure you don't accidentally close that tab when you're deep into the article… 🚫🔍 #TechSavvyMurderMystery"
I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.
Commentary:
"Watch out for those lethal small talk conversations! 💬😵 Stay safe out there, folks – one boring sentence could be your downfall 💀😂"
My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.
Commentary:
"Well, at least 'The Walking Dead' taught us a practical survival tip: when the zombies come knocking, don't worry about the expiration date on those canned beans 🧟♂️🥫 Just pray they're still edible and won't turn you into a member of the undead pantry patrol! 😂 #ApocalypseDining"
When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.
Commentary:
"Imagine being as unaware as a ghost at a party, except you're just being silly! 🤪 Don't be the 'stupid ghost' in your circle – embrace the wisdom and keep the laughs coming! 😜👻"
I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.
Commentary:
Well, talk about keeping the family drama alive from beyond the grave! 👻💬 It's like a never-ending Thanksgiving dinner, but with spirits instead of stuffing. Who knew that feuding with your ancestors could be a timeless tradition? 🔮😂
If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.
Commentary:
"If food delivery apps had never been invented, my bank account would be thriving from all the money saved…but my survival instincts might have also been put to the test 🍔😅 #FeastOrFamine"
Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.
Commentary:
"When in a tough spot, channel your inner Jesus 🙏 Just remember, resurrection isn't an everyday skill for most of us 😂🕊️ #WWJD #DisappearingAct"
Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.
Commentary:
"Ah, the beauty of sleeping – the closest you can get to being dead without the commitment! 💤😂 It's like hitting the pause button on life, but without the consequences. Win-win indeed! 😴👍"