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77 Funny death quotes

Trending Funny Death Quotes 🔥

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.
Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.
Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.
Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.
People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

More funny death quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Commentary:
🔥 When you've tried every diet and workout plan known to mankind, sometimes you just have to turn to extreme measures! 😂 Who knew the hottest body could be achieved at the crematorium? Just make sure you don't take the saying "hot body" too literally! 🔥💪
5 months ago
Share →: The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Commentary:
"RIP to the autocorrect inventor. May he forever be remembered for turning 'I love ewe' into 'I love you' 😂🙏 #RestInPiece"
5 months ago
Share →: If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Commentary:
"If my demise involves a hill and a fishy situation, it's safe to say I didn't go down without a trout 😉🐟 #FishyBusiness"
5 months ago
Share →: McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Commentary:
Oh, McDonald's and their relentless "anything else" questions – it's like a drive-thru version of the Spanish inquisition! 🍔🍟 Waiting for a McMinute feels like an eternity when you're hungry and just want to dive into those golden arches! ⏳😂
5 months ago
Share →: Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Commentary:
Why settle for an undertaker when you can have a host mortem instead? 🕵️‍♂️💀 It's the ultimate party for the dearly departed! 🎉 #DeathlyDelightful
5 months ago
Share →: I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Commentary:
What a perfect way to passive-aggressively immortalize those who have burnt their bridges with you! 🔥💀 "Obitchuaries: The Ultimate Revenge Saga" – coming soon to a bookstore near you! 📖😂#SorryNotSorry #WriteThemOff
5 months ago
Share →: Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Commentary:
"I agree! It would be entertaining to hear our iPhones pleading, 'Please, plug me in! I promise to be a good device and not freeze on you again!' 📱😂 #LowBatteryDrama"
5 months ago
Share →: There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous Canadian weather report: 'It's a bit nippy, eh?' ❄️🍁 While most certainties may be grim, at least Canada keeps us on our toes by reminding us that cold is relative! 🥶 #CanadaEh"

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that Canada has its own temperature scale called the "Windchill Index"? It measures how cold the wind makes it feel, taking into account factors like wind speed and air temperature! 🇨🇦❄️
5 months ago
Share →: Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Commentary:
"Who needs beauty sleep when you can have a mortician glam squad🧟‍♀️💄? Talk about waking up looking drop dead gorgeous💀💅! Keeping it killer even in your dreams!😜"
5 months ago
Share →: I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Commentary:
"Priorities definitely shift when you're on a winning streak in Wordle! 😂💀 Better solve those clues quickly before Death comes knocking and ruins it all! 🤞🏆 #WordlePriority #DeathVsWordle"