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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Trending via Instagram:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Trending via Facebook:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Spotted on Facebook:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Shared recently on Threads:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Going viral on Messenger:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

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Funny digestion quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Trending via Instagram:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Going viral on Slack:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Trending via Slack:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Going viral on Slack:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Making waves on X:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Trending via Reddit:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

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