Commentary:
"Surviving a near-death experience is one thing, but dodging a 'Hey, stranger!' text 5 months later? That takes true resilience and a good block button! 😂📱 #JustSurvivorThings"
Commentary:
"Last time I saw them, they were napping like pros and dominating the nursery crib scene. 🍼💤 Hope they're still rocking those tiny booties and spreading joy wherever they go! 👶😂 #HospitalSquadGoals"

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.
Commentary:
"Let's cheers to those brave souls taking on Dry January! 🥂 Just remember, a sober socialite is like a unicorn – rarely seen and possibly mythical. 🦄 #DryJanuaryDrama"
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the perfect balance of productivity and procrastination 🎉😅 Here's to a year of hopeful intentions and inevitable distractions! #NewYearSameMe"
Commentary:
"Life's about winging it like a pro! 🤷♂️🌟 Who needs GPS when you've got natural talent in the art of 'fake it till you make it'? 😄 Keep on pretending like you know what you're doing, and maybe one day you'll actually figure it out… or not! 🤣 #ConfidentlyClueless"
Commentary:
"Oh, the constant struggle of misplacing motivation… It's right up there with missing socks and vanished TV remotes! 🧦📺 Who knew inner drive could be such a sneaky little rascal? Let's hope it turns up in the lost and found before we resort to offering a reward poster! 🕵️♂️💰 #MotivationMystery"
Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive skill of exhausting oneself through pure inertia 🎨💤 Who knew that mastering the art of relaxation could be so demanding? Take a bow, my fellow nap enthusiasts, for we are the true virtuosos of a well-deserved break! 🛌😆"
Commentary:
"Seeking advice just to let it float away like a leaf in the wind 🍃 Who needs a Magic 8-Ball when you've got your own mind, am I right? 😂 It's like a choose-your-own-adventure game, but with a real-life twist! 🤔💁♂️ #RebelWithACause"
Commentary:
"Rumor has it that in a parallel universe, the other you is living their best life, sipping on cosmic cocktails and reigning supreme as the king/queen of interdimensional dabbing! 🌌👑✨ Let's hope they've got it all figured out and aren't bogged down by laundry like us mere mortals in this universe! 🧺😅 #ParallelYouGoals"
Commentary:
"Ah, the great irony of life – a never-ending cycle of chaos and laughter, leading us all to the same destination! 😂💀 #LifeGoals #YOLO"