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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Going viral on Twitch:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Trending via Reddit:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Just landed via YouTube:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Just landed via Telegram:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Trending via Snapchat:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Trending via Telegram:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Just shared via WeChat:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Going viral on Twitch:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Shared recently on Discord:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Spotted on Slack:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Freshly posted on Threads:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

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